


Spice of Life

by rabid_plotbunny



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 21:17:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17794910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabid_plotbunny/pseuds/rabid_plotbunny
Summary: Sesshoumaru will never drink Jaken's 'special' tea again.... [crack!fic, MPreg]





	Spice of Life

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to IJ/LJ 02-16-2010

Sesshoumaru awoke to a flash of a pain in his gut, clawing his way to reluctant consciousness with a difficulty that was at odds with his typical near-instant awakenings. He also got the feeling that somehow it was the first time in quite a while that he had managed that feat. An indecipherable hazy mess in his memories gave only the impression that time _had_ passed - and a substantial amount of it, at that - but was not coherent enough to tell just _how_ long.

Another flash of squeezing pain in his abdomen had him sitting up and curling in on himself in an unconscious effort to ease it, only to fail miserably on two counts.

First was the pain's stubborn resistance to being soothed that way.

Second was his inability to either sit up _or_ curl up and he stared with eyes gone wide and dark at the hugely distended swell that had taken the place of his once rock-hard and well-defined abdomen.

His claws made quick work of both the blankets over him and the sleeping yukata and he could only stare in disbelief at his exposed body. His chest was the same example of male perfection it always was - but were his pectorals just a little bigger, swollen? No, surely not! - but below that his body was almost unrecognizable to him; bloated and round, the deep rose stripes that usually wrapped around his hips and down his belly now stretched up the sides of the monstrosity and were the only thing that told him that the belly he was ogling was actually _his_. The skin rippled, the ball of it contracting slightly as he watched, and proved that it was beyond a doubt attached to him as he felt the flash of pain again at the same time.

His eyes dilated with shock, the pupils widening until only the smallest ring of gold remained as he came to the only conclusion that he could given the evidence.

He was, unbelievably, both hugely pregnant and in labor.

_How can this be happening?!_ Sesshoumaru whimpered in his mind. _I'm both male and untouched! How can I be_ pregnant _?! It's physically impossible!_

The contractions, however, didn't seem to care about the impossibility of their existence, nor did the swollen mass of his belly.

This time he couldn't hold back the high-pitched whine that escaped his throat as the latest wave of squeezing pain tumbled across his belly.

How had he ended up like this? _How?_

Sesshoumaru lay back into the pillows behind him, panting, his hair clinging uncomfortably to the sweat that sprang out on his face and neck, and tried to remember something, _anything_ , that would tell him how he had ended up pregnant.

A few minutes and another contraction later he snarled in frustration. Apparently, the 'how' and 'when' were buried somewhere in the blurred mess that was his recent memory.

Speaking of which....

The last thing he could clearly remember before waking up in labor was... 

**oOo**

Sesshoumaru settled down against a tree at the edge of a clearing to rest. Rin was already falling asleep near the low fire, Ah-Un lying down on her other side as a living heat reflector as usual. The remains of the evening meal were set aside for the morning. He had actually partaken of that meal when asked, much to Rin's delight, and the food was a welcome weight in his stomach.

Jaken walked over to him, a cup of steaming _something_ in his hands, the stench it gave off enough to bring the water to the daiyoukai's eyes at a dozen paces. "I made you some tea, Lord Sesshoumaru! You know human food never agrees with your magnificent insides. Not that your insides aren't excellent, milord, just that human food always seems to make you ill, and-"

"Jaken."

"Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"This Sesshoumaru needs no foul brews to manage his meal."

"Of course not, milord, but you _know-_ "

"Lord Sesshoumaru?" Rin said softly, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Rin is sorry if her food will hurt your tummy."

"It's fine, Rin," Sesshoumaru said, even as the first ominous pang rumbled in his gut. Damn it! He loved some kinds of human food, but unfortunately they didn't seem to like him in return. Not for the first time, he cursed the failure of his otherwise perfect body to cope with the flavorful herbs and spices he loved.

Unfortunately for him, Rin had become too well-versed in the language of 'Sesshoumaru' to miss his slight tensing against the twinge. The sad puppy eyes made an appearance. "Rin is sorry anyway. Perhaps my lord should drink Jaken's tea so you can feel better."

The last thing the daiyoukai wanted to do was drink the foul-smelling brew that Jaken still held, but the sight of Rin's downcast expression twisted inside and he couldn't help but try to change it.

With a soft sigh he took the tea and tossed it back in one hard gulp, somehow managing to keep it down despite his body's instinctive effort to send it right back up. Ugh. The 'cure' was worse than the inevitable discomfort-!

Silence reigned once again as the samp settled down to rest. Sesshoumaru hadn't meant to fall asleep but not long after he had lay back down against his chosen tree a wave of heavy drowsiness rolled over him and before he even knew it, he was gone.

**oOo**

_Jaken._

Another contraction wracked him, prompting a strangled cry even as he felt _something_ inside snap and a rush of fluid escape from between his legs.

He closed his eyes only for a moment to blink away some sweat, and when he opened them again he was shocked to see his great and terrible father sitting at the foot of the bed watching him, practically glowing with pride. He was dressed much the same as the last time he'd seen him, less the armor and mortal wounds.

"Father?" he asked softly, then winced and cried out as another contraction wracked him, this one harder than the others.

"Yes, my Sesshoumaru?" the mighty dog demon asked even as he manipulated his son's legs, bending them at the knee and spreading them wide and out of the way.

"You're dead, Father." He _felt_ awfully real for a ghost, though....

"You don't think I'd miss the chance to see my first grandpups, do you?" the elder dog demon replied. "Now stop talking and start birthing!"

As if in reply, the contractions got that much closer together, that much stronger, and things inside started to move.

"No," Sesshoumaru protested, a last weak denial. "I don't want to have pups! I don't want to - _argh! Nnnnnnnh! Aaah!_ \- I don't want to do this!"

"Well then you should have thought of that before. It's too late to stop now!"

After that, there was a blur of endless recurring pain and screaming, and Sesshoumaru only truly became lucid again in time to fall back to the surprisingly hard pillows in exhaustion, feeling like he'd just been gutted, his hand and claws full of dirt and grass he'd ripped up in his pain. There was still a warning twinge in his gut every now and again, but the worst seemed to be over.

Sesshoumaru looked over as his father came up beisde him, positively beaming. "Wonderful job, my Sesshoumaru!" he gushed. "There's not that many, but it's not bad for a first litter. I'm sure you'll have a decent number next time. They look just like their sire!"

At that, Sesshoumaru realized that for him to have been pregnant, _someone_ had to have impregnated him. But _who?_

Bracing himself for anything from hanyou to dog ears to red eyes with spider birthmarks, Sesshoumaru turned his head to look at his... pups. _He_ , Sesshoumaru, Lord of the West, had just _birthed his own pups!_

And there they were. Tucked away in baskets and bowls and boxes and chests around the room were a dozen pups, all wrapped up in insipid blue or pink blankets.

He blinked, swallowed against the surge of bile up his throat as he saw that they really _did_ look like their sire.

As one they blinked, then there were a dozen tiny Jakens - green, beaked faces all bearing copies of his own markings - yelling for him. "Lord Mamaaaaaaaaa!"

**oOo**

Sesshoumaru awoke with a start, wild golden eyes darting around the clearing, unwillingly searching for his unmentionable offspring.

Rin was up, reheating the remains of yesterday's meal. Jaken was feeding the fire. Ah-Un was across the clearing, grazing.

There were no pint-sized Jakens anywhere to be seen, though the faint twinges in his gut remained all too real.

Getting himself back under control, his panicky heart slowing to a reasonable rate as the realization that it had just been a nightmare spawned by the evil cramping, Sesshoumaru stood. The twinge in his gut intensified with the motion, telling him to get to the bushes _soon_.

"Rin, Jaken, Ah-Un, stay," he ordered. The _last_ thing he needed was an accidental witness to his humiliated discomfort.

He was almost out of the clearing when he paused.

"Jaken."

"Yes, milord?"

"Your tea sucks," he said, taking a page from his half-brother's book and speaking plainly for the first time in as long as he could remember. "And if you ever even _think_ about making me carry your tadpoles, I'll kill you."

Jaken could only stare as Sesshoumaru walked away, disappearing quickly into the forest despite his stark white coloring. "Lord Sesshoumaru... having... my... tadpoles...?"

He had a sudden image of his Lord Sesshoumaru lying in a birthing bed, looking as perfect as ever, surrounded by a hundred tiny beings that looked just like _him_ , golden eyes shining softly with motherly affection. The silver head lifted, eyes meeting his own, for once speaking plainly of both affection and lust....

"Lord... Sesshou... ma... ru...." he said faintly, then blood exploded in a rush from his nose and he fainted.

**END**

\--  
 _Yes, I_ am _evil, how did you guess? Honestly, I don't see the J/S (or S/J) pairing actually happening short of either_ serious _blackmail or having Sesshoumaru drugged out of his mind, but it was an amusing diversion...._

_So... Thoughts?_


End file.
